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The Northwood Howler

The Student News Site of Northwood High School

The Northwood Howler

The Student News Site of Northwood High School

The Northwood Howler

Alternative seating options for better gluteal health

SAVE+YOUR+DIGNITY+AND+YOUR+BUTT%3A+Northwood+students+resort+to+finding+creative+places+to+sit+after+finding+the+school+desolate+of+open+tables.
Yuri Song and Neil Godse
SAVE YOUR DIGNITY AND YOUR BUTT: Northwood students resort to finding creative places to sit after finding the school desolate of open tables.

These days, many Northwood students find themselves suffering immensely from the limited number of lunch tables on campus. There has been an ongoing war between the outraged studentsand the bees that occupy every table at the quad. But who needs the dull and ordinary when you can spice up lunchtime with these revolutionary new seating ideas? From defying gravity to a private getaway, these last resort lunch spots will make lunch… well, interesting.

1. The sand pit at the track field

For those of us who had their usual table taken over by a group of rowdy freshmen, the track sand pit is a great place to sit during lunch—minus the overwhelming scent of turf, rubber and running shoes.

If you need some extra texture in your salad, a scoop of the sand is the perfect solution for an extra crispy lunch. The pit is also a very isolated part of Northwood’s campus, making it the perfect location for a private picnic with your friends. Although, you may not be able to hear the screeching sounds of the tardy sweep.

2. On top of The Oak

A great place to sit should always include an impeccable view. If you’re one to enjoy thrill and a rush of adrenaline, you might want to consider getting on high grounds.

At the top of The Oak, you are at the center of the social circle. You can easily scope out the competition for the front of the lunch line while also planning the quickest route to sprint to your fifth period class during a tardy sweep.

Don’t worry about the pain of the branches digging into your glutes—it can’t be more uncomfortable than sitting on the cold, hard concrete.

3. Inside the abandoned locker room showers

If you’re looking for a quiet location to study, try the locker room showers. The last time a living being breathed out a puff of carbon dioxide in there was at least a decade ago, so if air quality is your concern, you’ve just found your secret hideout.

If you’re craving a study snack, feel free to snatch the mold encrusted into the corners of the shower heads. It’s been aged like fine wine and encased with dust for that kick of spice.

4. In the elevators

Did you know that we have elevators on campus? We know that you’re pretty sure they’re off limits, but we’re pretty sure that in the face of battle royale, anything goes.

The vertical movement of the elevator will provide the exact same thrill of riding a roller coaster, right from the comfort of our own school! Besides the occasional frantic scooching as someone actually gets on the elevator, this spot is perfect for those who seek thrill and adrenaline. Just make sure to always keep a paper bag. .on hand!

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About the Contributor
Sienna Hidalgo
Sienna Hidalgo, Staff Writer
Sienna is a staff writer for The Northwood Howler and also a hedgehog enthusiast. In her limited free time, she loves to waste away the hours with a hook in one hand and yarn in the other, crocheting as if her life depended on it. When she’s not aggressively crocheting, she’s either reading, napping, or jumping over hurdles for fun.

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