Anthony Park, Staff Writer
Anthony Park, the perpetual insomniac somehow writing for the Northwood Howler, often wonders if his undying loyalty to Starbucks brews is a personality trait or an unhealthy caffeine dependency. Fueled by both coffee and unprompted left-wing commentary, he oscillates between fervent typing and deep existential crises — with occasional breaks for his skincare regimen (because shining skin is just the right counterbalance when peering into life’s abyss). While we won’t claim his writings are birthed from sheer delirium, that ethereal touch does lend them an unexpected charm.