New AP Florida Studies course announced by Board of Education


Sophia Ho

SOARING IN THE SUNSHINE STATE: Live footage used in AP Florida Studies showing a Floridan man testing Kennedy Space Center’s new rocket.

Lucy Kim, Junk Editor

Florida’s Department of Education announced the immediate addition of an Advanced Placement course covering Florida Studies to state-wide schools’ Course of Studies on Feb. 30. The announcement comes following Florida’s controversial decision to reject the official College Board AP African American Studies course.

“We don’t want our kids becoming woke, you know?” Florida education commissioner Nada Raycest said in a press conference. “‘W’ for weverse wacists, ‘O’ for oriental, ‘K’ for kweer and ‘E’ for endoctrinated. Stop WOKE!”

Florida’s Department of Education has denied any speculations about the course’s relation to College Board’s AP African American Studies.

“AP Florida Studies is an interdisciplinary course that draws from a variety of fields— history, literature, the arts, geography, science—to explore the vital contributions and experiences of, erm, [pause] Floridians,” Raycest said in a press conference. “As with all AP courses in the humanities, this is a course that offers direct engagement with evidence and events from the state of Florida, which we know is real.”

The official framework for the course has been released.

AP Florida Studies
Credits: 5 credits per semester, recognized by Florida universities ONLY

Grade level: 9-12
Length: 1 year

This College Board non-approved course covers the full history of the glorious Sunshine State. Students will study geographical, historical and economic concepts while staying clear of indoctrination masqueraded as education, otherwise known as social studies. There will be no mention of race or inequality whatsoever, proudly educating students on the history of the most intellectual state in America, a country where different cultures do not exist.

Student will cover:

Life and accomplishments of Gov. Ron DeSantis
Students will study the governor’s historic decisions and reasoning behind them, including his ban of every required reading at Florida schools that mention a person of color.

Students will study policies, including why drag shows are THE BIGGEST dangers to their generation. Students will not be covering the existence of guns (which are available starting at $149.99 at the nearest Florida Bass Pro for a limited time!)

Students will study notable events in the governor’s upbringing and personal life, including his public, romantic, hot and steamy relationship with the NRA.

Modern Floridian culture: Florida man and swamp puppies

Students will open the class by discussing a Florida man event that happened on the day in history and its cultural impact.

Students will study big reptile species, observing alligator and crocodile behavior by turning their heads and looking outside of their classroom windows.

Floridan contributions to modern America

Students will study significant accomplishments by Florida and Floridians that contributed to shaping America today.

Students will learn about advancements including the use of the Kennedy Space Center to humanely deport Cuban aliens by rocket launch and the government’s planned reinforcement of border immigrant control by sinkhole.

College Board has yet to release an official statement about their standings on the course.