13 things to do while you wait for a school computer to turn on


Yejin Heo

COMPUTER COMPLAINTS: Senior Yenna Kim grows weary and old waiting to print her Huckleberry Finn essay.

Yejin Heo, Staff Writer

Printing an essay from a pod computer can prove to be a pretty punishing activity. It’s in this mood of malcontent that you can stop staring at a rotating Dell logo and start taking advantage of this downtime instead. You’ve already tried to grace your apathetic peers with your Glee conspiracies in the pod, so here’s some other stuff to try while you wait. Don’t worry—you can finish a solid number of these before your login information loads. 

  1. Memorize the Northwood Alma Mater.
  2. Deeply question and unearth the answer as to what your why is. 
  3. Read Viewpoint articles the Howler has published and construct compelling counter arguments for each of them in a neatly-formatted essay. 
  4. Compose an email to the IUSD Technology Desk asking to unblock Slack from the school wifi. Also, Cool Math Games. 
  5. Ride Space Mountain at Disneyland on Christmas Eve.
  6. Become a skilled horse hunter.
  7. Construct a shrine for your math class crush and pledge them as the eternal object of your love even though they don’t care about your well-written compliments nor your vastly misplaced affection. 
  8. Successfully crossbreed the Oak with a simple garden flower. Place the hybrids in glass vases and set one on each lunch table to cultivate a welcoming school environment. 
  9. Train your body to enjoy baked beans. 
  10. Buy a juicer and lots of brightly colored fruits and vegetables. Become an ardent advocate for homemade cold-pressed juice. Write your own cookbook of juice recipes and outsell Martha Stewart’s entire franchise. 
  11. Reunite North and South Korea.
  12. Organize and participate in a series of underground fight clubs. Engage in these behaviors as a way to prove that you are the ultimate hyper alpha amid Northwood’s cesspool of shrimpy hormones and Hamilstans. 
  13. Reinvent your public image.