EPIC!!1!1 Leprechaun fights Easter Bunny???

Anlon Zhu, Managing Editor

In the most highly anticipated exhibition boxing fight of the season, Leprechaun and Easter Bunny exchanged fists and paws at the Magical Guardian Monument (MGM) Grand Arena on April 10. The bout was sparked by multi-millionaire gold-loving YouTuber Leprechaun, dubbing himself “The Mavertrick,” who called out professional Australian boxer Easter Bunny for faking his stunts in the 2012 film “Rise of the Guardians.” Unconfirmed reports state that the bad blood runs deeper, claiming that Leprechaun’s feelings had been hurt way back when he wasn’t chosen to star in the hit film, citing discrimination against his short stature as the reason.

In spite of the concerns about Bunny’s overwhelming weight class advantage, the bout became one of the richest fights in boxing history, drawing thousands of attendees to MGM Grand and millions more livestream viewers. Over 90% of viewers were between the ages of 5 and 12, closely matching the demographic of Leprechaun’s YouTube subscribers, who call themselves the “Lepregang.” Fans paid $66.60 per view with an additional $666.00 if they wanted to buy an exclusive fight shirt.

However, fans and foes alike expressed their disappointment once they saw the judges’ scorecards read 57-57, 57-57, 57-57—the fight ended in a draw.

“Bunny’s a faker. Believe in the Lepregang! Be a Mavertrick!” said 8-year-old Leprechaun fan Aimgul Ible when asked about his opinion on the match.

During the fight, Bunny proved his centuries of professional boxing merit, rolling with the punches and smacking highlight reel shots on Leprechaun with a carrot (leaving the viewers with no doubt that Bunny does indeed perform his own stunts). In the second round, Bunny bashed Leprechaun with a jumping jab to the jaw, almost knocking out the green ringster out of the ring with a twirl and a tickle with his fluffy bunny tail. In the last round, Leprechaun used his height disadvantage to land an uppercut on Bunny, but he bonked the back of Bunny’s head and faced a two point penalty.

“That penalty was just not fair, man,” Leprechaun said. “Do you know high I had to jump to reach his head? Coach Clover and I worked on my jumps throughout all of training camp! I bet Bunny carried his lucky rabbit’s foot.”
Although footage shows that Bunny did not morbidly carry the severed foot of a fellow rabbit (leading some conspiracy theorists to claim that Bunny’s own foot is the lucky charm), Bunny agreed with Leprechaun.

“I’ll admit he shouldn’t have gotten that point penalty,” Bunny said. “But that little Leprechaun definitely carried his lucky four-leaf clover today because I was worn out from laying millions of Easter eggs last week.”

Displeased with the draw, Leprechaun and Bunny are already talking smack at press conferences and calling for a rematch in 2022. Will Bunny rise up to guard his reputation as a boxer and Hollywood star stunt-performer, or will the next fight just be Leprechaun’s lucky day?