It’s finally here. After almost 10 years in development hell, “A Minecraft Movie” has finally been unleashed onto cinemas worldwide–only to crumble at the daunting task of adapting the original video game’s limitless potential.
The story revolves around four human misfits (Jason Momoa, Emma Meyers, Danielle Brooks, Sebastian Hansen) as they’re abruptly thrust into the peaceful Overworld, a paradise of creativity where humans can build whatever they want using blocks. This tranquility is threatened when a tribe of Piglin monsters from the hellish Nether dimension threaten to invade the Overworld to plunder it for its resources and destroy its creative potential. Faced with little options, the four heroes team up with Steve (Jack Black), an experienced builder, to defeat the Piglins and return home to Earth.
For a film with such a strong thematic emphasis on the creative process, the plot is laughably generic and underdeveloped.The movie also suffers from a major pacing issue. The introductory scenes on Earth are filled with dull dialogue just to emphasize how terrible the leads’ lives are before they travel to the Overworld.
Let’s get the llama out of the room: the CG is ugly. Almost every mob from the original game like the sheep, zombies, villagers, skeletons and llamas have uncanny redesigns and a thick, leathery texture that completely ruins any potential charm. There are a few exceptions: the Piglins, Minecraft’s iconic Creeper enemy and most of the background shots are competently put together. It’s such a shame that the beautiful CG environments are just backdrops for the human characters to discuss plot information or make an unfunny pun referencing mining or crafting.
However, the film’s biggest visual sins are the boring cinematography and inconsistent lighting, which removes the humans from the movie’s world due to this glaring visual inconsistency. The humans are filmed at a straight or three-fourths angle for the majority of the movie, getting incredibly old after about half an hour.
Another big issue is the way the characters are treated in the film. The heroes are split into two groups with Meyers and Brooks (the two female leads) and the other with Black, Momoa and Hansen (the three male leads) after a chaotic battle. However, this division leads to a baffling imbalance in screen time and plot relevance. The male characters receive the lion’s share of both, while Meyers and Brooks are left with very little to do. Their roles become almost inconsequential, as they have no relevance to the plot and receive no character development throughout the film.
It’s also impossible to review “A Minecraft Movie” without discussing the impact it left on internet culture. Humorously voiced lines of objects from the game, particularly from Steve (Black), have been memed to the Nether and back ever since the trailers dropped. If you’re watching the movie in theaters, expect to see a whole lot of people break theater etiquette to chant along with Black every twenty minutes or so.
However, the existence of the memes reveal a fundamental lack of heart and soul present in the film. The film’s reliance on Black yelling “Flint and Steel” or “Chicken Jockey” as a way to entice people to pay for a ticket by giving lip service to items or mechanics from “Minecraft” instead of finding a way to integrate the game’s elements into the movie is emblematic of the film’s lack of confidence in itself. Once you strip away the references, it’s a tasteless, generic, Jack Black-led kids movie that wears a superficial “Minecraft” skin; the latest failure of cynical Hollywood slop attempting to adapt a beloved childhood property to the silver screen.
By trying to please everyone, “A Minecraft Movie” pleases nobody. Teens and adults who grew up with the game, even if they enjoy the movie’s memes, will find themselves frustrated at the over-explained plot, lackluster CGI integration and the inconsistencies with the source material. Children are going to be bored out of their minds at the underwhelming story and character drama. Unfortunately, no Totem of Undying is going to save “A Minecraft Movie” from returning to the game over screen due to complete and utter mediocrity.
