To Daylight Saving Time,
Saving, on March 10, you became the most culturally, politically and religiously significant calendar observance of our generation. I want to prove to you in a pseudo-scientific way why we should all appreciate your time change.
You are still valued in our academic world because you allow us to have an extra hour of daylight for the study grind. We feel better about ourselves as we look out the window after our six-hour study sessions and see that the twilight is slightly brighter than it was last month (either that, or we’ve gone cross eyed after reviewing where the mitochondria is and how to find the standard deviation of a large data set).
I personally adore the extra hour of natural light you provide for us. It’s reassuring to know that the sun is shining and the weather is beautiful outside when I’m grinding tomorrow’s AP Government, Chemistry, Physics, Calculus and Music Theory tests from inside my bedroom.
Another reason why I adore you is because you make my body more prepared when I face obstacles ahead. Case in point, I often end up walking to school in the dark during the spring forwards, as I get up at a time so early in the morning that the sun hasn’t come up yet. While a lot of people will say it’s unsafe for kids, I think it gives me a good opportunity to train my night vision.
I was almost shredded apart by a Tesla Cybertruck a couple of years ago, which is typical for elementary students outside of Eastwood Elementary. However, my experience
from traversing under the cover of darkness allowed me to easily evade the enemy vehicle and dodge to safety.
My 2-year-old cousin, Jen Alpha, doesn’t understand your beauty. She’s used to most smart devices such as iPads, iPhones, iWatches and iCups that automatically set the time forwards, so she hates analog devices that are too dumb to move their faces forward in relation to the complex astronomil calculations that result from the Earth’s orbit around the sun. To that, I say: kids these days.
Alpha is a part of a generation that has to multitask watching “Subway Surfers” gameplay to truly appreciate the subtle humor in “Family Guy” and “South Park” clips on TikTok, so obviously to her, not having to spend those extra 20 seconds is a Godsend. That’s her opinion, but I’d rather keep you, if only to teach the next generation the vital patience that comes from lovingly rewinding an analog clock.
She’s never had a long attention span, so whenever she sets her clocks for you, she just ends up getting distracted. Since she has all this extra time on her hands, Alpha can get back to doing what she loves to do best: watching Skibidi-Dream-SMP-Digital-Circus-Cocomelon videos because her parents refuse to care for her.
Love,
A disheveled, sleepy student
Sent from my iPhone
