Lo and behold, the awkward silence, the inability to make eye-contact as if you were both Medusa, the fidgeting while mumbling about the color of the flooring or pleasantries about the fantastic weather (it’s pitch-black outside and freezing cold): all the disastrous signs of a freshman couple embarking on their first date. But fear no more! Here are a few fun conversation starters to show off your immaculate yet profound small-talk skills and charisma. 

If you could build your home out of any one “Minecraft” block, what would it be?

As an aspiring architect, you have the liberty of choosing any one “Minecraft” block for your next structural masterpiece. Assuming stone, dirt and all eight types of wood vanished, what would you choose? Perhaps, you’ll build your house out of pure blocks of diamond attempting to simulate the wealthy life you will never achieve with a minimum wage salary or walk on the wild slide and use TNT, praying that a Creeper doesn’t set it off and turn your home into a war zone. 

If you had to hide something from the FBI, where would you hide it?

You uploaded a YouTube video entitled “24 Hours Overnight in Area 51” where you documented yourself stealing an enchanted artifact: a school-air-resistant gel, to finally protect your luscious locks from becoming a rat’s nest the moment you step into Northwood. But it’s too late for a half-baked, alligator tears apology video as the FBI will arrive at your home in a mere matter of minutes. Would you hide the relic in that pile of homework that has been collecting dust after claiming to be an academic weapon? Or maybe store it in the trash where all your dreams went after doomscrolling college admissions rates? The possibilities will never end, just like your prison sentence. 

How many versions of your 12-year-old self do you think you could take on?

When placed in a gladiator-style arena with an infinite amount of 12-year-old versions of yourself, how many of them can you take down? You can choose from an array of weapons: screenshots of your cringey “Renegade”  dance TikToks from seventh grade, emotional damage inflicted by insults about their braces or M67 grenades. 

If you could consume any one object that is marketed as inconsumable, what would you be shoveling into your mouth?

You’re presented with an array of all the objects labeled inconsumable that, at some point, you’ve felt an inexplicable desire to eat: those jars of body butters that look like flavored buttercream, the squishy orbeez orbs with the consistency of jelly, those packets of silica gel beads that come in just about everything or even the infamous tide pod. Granted with immunity to the toxicity of any of these objects, what would you choose to snack on?

If you could have any five liquids to shoot out of each finger of your hand on tap, which liquids would you choose?

You wake up one day and find yourself with potentially the most useless superhuman power yet: the ability to shoot out five liquids of your choice from each of your five fingers on your left hand. Whether it be ketchup to have unlimited seasoning on all of your hot dogs, or crude oil to make big bucks in today’s economy (RAHH CAPITALISM), let your creative juices flow and make the most out of this seemingly worthless ability. What if you’re limited to only edible liquids? Would an endless source of caffeine appease your sleepless nights studying?