NHS graduation moved to the beginning of school year

Pranav Gaddam

With this year’s Senior Trip and AP registration moved to the beginning of the year, the school district has been embracing this paradigm of earliness in their most recent policies. In order to ensure all high school seniors get a headstart in their personal and professional endeavours, they have decided to follow the early-bird-gets-the-worm philosophy to ensure that every student gets a worm.

Just last month, a new system was implemented that would move up high school graduation senior breakfast, BBQ and trip to the beginning of preschool. This has led to much widespread confusion for IUSD students regarding their graduation status, prompting Northwood students to protest demand the traditional schedule to be re-instated.

“If graduation is moved up, then all the students here won’t be able to graduate unless they can go back in time,” senior Candice Grady said. “Now my three-year-old brother is a high school graduate, and I am unemployed.”

Due to this sudden change, toddlers have been forced to put down their rattles and face the college admissions system. Many are facing technical difficulties due to their use of crayons when trying to fill out the forms online.

“Gadgwgoy skowelo wecha zdfklhkzdfs,” 2-year-old Bo Shi said. “Istahjrrbh cheese Harvarrrd bogi gfiuEW FEIU lekki ssss jujuu hungry.”

Meanwhile, the administration prepares to make alterations to the graduation ceremony. Diplomas have been laminated to prevent paper cuts, and baby chairs have been added for student and parent seating. Graduation robes have been altered to fit the newer, smaller graduates.

Toddlers will also be transferred to the Northwood campus where the administration will guide students in selecting their courses, limiting them to one AP Hobby. Here, the new students will finish the rest of their education before graduating. Several classes have been added to the program of studies such as Intro to Naptime, Block Building and Advanced Eye Spy.

Arrangements for the Senior Trip have been adjusted as well. Since the toddlers are restricted by the ride’s height requirements, the trip’s location has been changed from Six Flags to Chuck-E-Cheese. The administration took these measures to ensure the safety of students and prevent any vandalism. They will continue to make updates regarding the student’s graduation while their parents are now excited for the new school year as the young prepare for their new future.

“They grow up so fast,” Mary Adams, mother of one of Northwood’s new students, said. “Even though he’s graduating, it feels as though he was just born yesterday.”