Classroom cellphone pockets full of lies

Dylan Yee

Don’t be fooled. Phone pockets are not used to prevent distractions in class. They’re used to download information from your phone, so teachers can learn how to interact with teenagers.

Just think about it. At the same time we’ve begun giving teachers access to our phones, the amount of teachers recognizing pop culture references have been increasing. A common theory among the student body is that phone pockets possess unknown technology that can secretly read what we post on social media. During class, while our attention is fixated on the board, the pockets read our information and leave us none the wiser.

Look no further than a recent incident that occurred in the math classroom.

“I was just chilling in Ms. Hanley’s class, learning about the Pythagorean Theorem,” junior Henry Jia said. “And I asked, `How do we know that Pythagoras knows what he’s talking about?’ and to my shock, Ms. Hanley replied, ‘Love him or hate him, he’s spitting straight facts.’ While the entire class cheered, I was dumbfounded. How did she know about that?”

While some students are okay with teachers understanding this new lingo, other students are more wary.

“Imagine you’re taking AP Government with Mr. Rubin, and all of a sudden he just says ‘Bruh,’” senior Matthew Stankovich said. “I would probably leave the class.”

Currently it is against school rules to disobey the phone policy, so it is probable that Northwood students will just have to live with our newly emerging hip and woke teachers.