Starting April of last year, Northwood began the tardy sweeps as a way to encourage students to get to class on time. In unpredictable, random passing periods, the race begins to get to your next class on time before the time runs out—before the song ends.
Regardless of what time of the day it is, only one thing is for sure: the atrocious cacophony screeching through the speakers. Whether you’re in the parking lot talking to friends or in the bathroom, the screeching discordance of the tardy sweep music broken through the speakers is utterly unavoidable.
Here are the top five tardy sweep music alternatives admin should seriously consider to elicit just as equally detrimental, if not even better responses from students.
1. The calm and collected “five minutes left” warning from teachers while taking a test
In order to include our more competitive peers, diving deep into the realm of mental trauma can prove to be most effective. Regardless of if you’re a freshman or a senior, you’ve heard this phrase before, and every time, cue the sweat on your hand. You look at the test. Three more pages, front AND back left to go. At least 11 problems remain.
This anxiety-inducing phrase is sure to trigger PTSD for many students, motivating them to arrive at school early. After all, not wanting to fail a test is a Northwood student’s greatest motivation.
2. A recording of Mr. Keith singing the Alma Mater:
If we’re all going to be running away from the speakers anyway, why not have some school spirit while doing it? The Alma Mater, sung by our very own assistant principal Eric Keith, is bound to be effective in getting the students to hurry to class. Besides, I personally would take his singing through the speakers any day better than the broken statics of the songs played through the speakers.
3. The “See Something, Say Something” video
We watch this one video every year, and every year, the audio quality never seems to get better. It never seems to surpass single-digit volume levels even when set at the highest output level, and makes it impossible to pay attention to what the video is telling us. Maybe the ear-splitting amplification of the school speakers will finally get this video to an audible level. Or admin, this would be killing two birds with one stone!
4. Nails screeching against a matte blackboard
More so than just being incomprehensible, the booming of this music through the numerous speakers glued to our school walls is torture to all of our ears. Nail screeching and tardy sweep music have the most important thing in common for ALL students, and even teachers: both make us grab our ears and dart away from this ear torture as fast as we can.
5. Repeated purging sounds after a terrible case of food poisoning from the oddly milky chicken alfredo in the cafeteria lunch menu.
You might’ve heard it before in the bathrooms, or just in the streets. If they’re going to play this music to damage our ears, why not damage them even further by switching over to graphic sounds of violent vomiting. Doesn’t it accurately represent how students feel having to hear this loud echo anyway? It makes us nauseous on our journey over to our class. For those five minutes, the task of getting to class on time adds to the stress levels.
