Forget about AP Classroom drama and cafeteria mysteries, these furry lovebirds will send shockwaves throughout the spirit community. Our sources within the school mascot community have uncovered the juiciest details of a romance so spicy it puts sichuan to shame.
Watch as Northwood mascot Timby and Portola mascot Buster rewrite the rules of love in this scandalous bleacher rendezvous.
Picture this. It’s National Boyfriend Day, and Timby drops a clue so cryptic that even PR manager principal Chuckle Coach can’t decode. How, you ask? Timby chooses a soft launch strategy: a blurry 0.5 picture of himself and a faceless figure clad in an oversized hoodie, high-kitty boots and a hairline-annihilating high ponytail, getting nice and cozy during a movie date.
Our espionage expertise led to an amazing discovery: Buster’s signature purple perfectly matched the mystery mammal’s hoodie. However, wasn’t Buster already dating Vaqy, Irvine High School’s mascot?
The situation remains unclear, but Vaqy publicly announced what may be the breakup of IUSD’s infamous celebrity couple through a cryptic Notes app Instagram story that reads: “Buster isn’t a mascot’s mascot.” Buster deleted every post featuring Vaqy on Instagram after this announcement.
“Timby and Buster are attempting to keep a low profile and show respect to their exes as they embark on this new relationship,” an anonymous source who claims to be close to the couple said.
During Northwood’s Sponge Bob-themed game against Laguna Hills High School on Oct. 20, a rumor circulated that Buster was Timby’s homecoming date after the crowd saw glimpses of a signature purple shirt.
The official statement put out from Portola’s PR team cited a scheduling mix-up, claiming that Northwood’s homecoming was originally scheduled with Portola, but was pushed back a week and then rescheduled against Laguna Hills. A new intern allegedly told Buster to attend Northwood’s homecoming game on Oct. 20.
Exclusive video footage from The Howler captures Timby and Buster’s paw-holding PDA during the halftime show. With their keen eyes and zoom-enhancing skills, internet detectives uncovered from a dark, 360p candid shot with half of Buster’s phone screen caught in the photo that even his home screen wallpaper is a picture of Timby.
Cheerleaders fumble pom-poms, the band stops playing and even Timby’s Troop needs therapy. Halftime performances like this transcend romance; it’s a Broadway-worthy musical.
At homecoming, we’re subjected to a cringe display of glances, rumored dates and openly cryptic messages. Timby and Buster seem to be revolutionizing mascot romance. This peculiar tale unfolds with the two school mascots shamelessly breaking all norms, bringing forth sideline drama and furry romance that leaves us both puzzled and disdainful.
