Most Northwood students are familiar with green flags and red flags: a golden retriever personality is peak green flag material, while choosing to take six AP classes but then complaining about them for the rest of the year is red.
But today is a day to celebrate colorblind people and dogs, because we are here to shed light on Northwood’s common beige flags: neither green nor red, just abnormal and slightly strange.
1. Screaming, crying and throwing up at the sight of a green figeater beetle
These measly creatures can be found floating overhead, waiting to purposely get tangled into someone’s freshly styled hair.
They may also be seen awkwardly bumping into students as they attempt to enjoy their lunch at the quad without the disturbance of a nosy insect (level: impossible).
Whether you stand and fight or run away, your actions are indeed one of Northwood’s inevitable beige flags.
2. Having a phone model so old the teachers mark you absent
When the teacher checks the phone pockets for attendance and asks “Where is your phone?” and you have to embarrassingly respond with “Oh, it’s in there, you just can’t see it.” In all honesty, maybe this is simply a sign to upgrade to a new phone.
3. Doordash.
Already finished your lunch but are overwhelmed by the craving for Chick-fil-A? Doordash. Need an energy-boosting snack to keep you awake during Euro. Lit.? Doordash. Good luck managing your budget in Econ, you heathen.
4. Making your teachers feel prehistoric by just existing
It’s actually written into the California oath for teachers that they have to make at least one outdated joke per class.
They’ll hit you with the, “You guys make me feel so old!” and you’re left to awkwardly respond with a slight head nod and confused chuckle.
5. Staff members pulling up in their golf carts everywhere
Because why are the administrators doing drifts in the loading zone? The last sighting of a staff member walking somewhere was when they had to manually remove the soap dispensers from every boys’ bathroom on campus. Man, what a time.
