How to unlock your interview rizz


Saba Nabaeighahroudi

ATTRACTING THE ASSESSOR: A board hopeful manipulates her interviewer through tenacious tactics like submitting NHS confessions.

Megha Kishore, Staff Writer

May is all preparing to make the next school year the best it can be by applying to clubs and organizations. While written applications are self-explanatory, mastering the art of the interview is what challenges most candidates. To combat this issue, The Howler has created anexclusive guide on how to ace every board interview and collect those board positions like infinity stones.

Step 1: Opposites Attract
Collect information about your interviewer and do everything you can to be the polar opposite of them. If they have tons of friends, cut all of yours off. They take AP classes? Drop all of yours. If you happen to stumble across a Taylor Swift playlist while stalking their Spotify, “accidentally” disconnect your AirPods before your interview as you just so happen to be playing Kanye. Your contrasting personality will set you up for a great interview and maybe even a grumpy-sunshine trope.

Step 2: Woo starts with W
The last thing your interview panel wants to do after a soul-crushing week of being delivered during AP season and watching others’ promposals is listen to another try-hard talking about how dedicated and passionate they are. The best way to ensure they are in a good mood before your interview is to submit an anonymous confession on Instagram, preferably using sensory language and using narrative techniques to highlight how your love for them began. We recommend around 10-15 submissions to guarantee at least one is posted before your interview. If they feel like they can pull, they’ll be more inclined to pull you into their club board.

Step 3: The actual interview…
Now that you have set up your interview perfectly, it’s time to blow the interviewers away by providing unique responses, giving them no other choice but to accept you. First, arrive at least 10 minutes late for a grand entrance into the room, ensuring all eyes are on you. At the end of the interview, make sure to ask a personal question, for example, what neighborhood they live in or their dream college to convey that you want to build more than a professional relationship with them. This strategy highlights your people skills, demonstrating that you are warm and caring, which is an essential skill needed for any leadership position.

Bonus: Analyzing your Interview
Stressing about how your interview went? Here’s a detailed description of signs to look out for in your interviewer that indicate they chose you.

If they looked up several times – Congrats! Since they’re looking up, it means that they’re looking up into the future, meaning they’re looking up above into the future of their organization: you. They know you’re perfect to help them reach new heights of success.

If they aggressively Typed or Wrote – They love your personality. Most likely writing a love letter about what an amazing person you are, which guarantees that they only have eyes for you.

If they raised their eyebrows – This is a dead giveaway that you’re getting #1 in their candidate list and in their heart. This subliminal message shows that your responses and confidence are raising the bar for every other candidate, eliminating all other competition.