Creative ways to reject rejection


REJECT REJECTION: No more salting your soup with tears with these methods.

Alyssa Quintana, Staff Writer

The start of March marks the start of blooming flowers and bird calls, but also the end to a month-long so-called cuffing season. Welcome to a spring of rejection; of unrequited crushes and not wanting to check college follow up-emails.

There’s no shame in wallowing; rejection is complicated. With a little freewheeling T-Wolf spirit, however, it’s possible to get through heartache some- where in between. Why not take up your emotions like no else has, in these exciting and hopefully foolproof ways?

1) Seek MORE disappointment
Put yourself in situations where you’re bound to be further denied what you want. Shuffle through the pizza line when you really want Pick Up Stix. Invite Timby to be your Spring Fling date (especially after it got cancelled!). This will generate more regret, yes, but it’ll be enough that you forget about your first grievance. It turns out you really do have control over your life.

2) Bake a cake with the rejector’s likeness
Illustrate the beloved mascot from your former dream school with frosting or use icing to spell out the name of an ungrateful summer camp: whatever makes you more sour. What you do with this tart surprise isn’t their business, and hopefully not ours too.

3) Actually, age-old traditions are best

If the pain is too much for your heart, maybe it needs redirection. Go through your rage playlist for an act to open Northwood’s Got Talent, March 29. Crusade through dynamic Roblox parkour until you only know W-A-S-D. Or have a bowl of spicy ramen; let tears roll not for your future but your poor stomach lining and unpredictable present.