We’ve Glove You Covered: Totally un-abominable alternatives to snow


Ellie Chan and Matthew Dimaandal

SNOW WITH THE FLOW: From Timby’s dandruff to the dusted dreams of the class of 2020, we’ve got your ingredients for a snow-riffic winter wonderland.

Jaycee Hendrickson, Sports Editor

An endless summer filled with palm trees and Ray Bans and warm sunshine. The glorification of living in Southern California hits an all-time high once the clocks turn back, marking the official stepping stone into winter.

But despite the marvel of being able to wear a tank top in December, there is one thing that most people miss dearly in SoCal: snow.

So let’s be real. The long drives to Big Bear and Lake Tahoe for real snow are a drag and fake snow is lame. Just take the bubbles from last year’s magical snowfall at Northwood as an example. Seriously… we can do better than that.

Beach Sand
It might sound crazy, but surf’s up bro. If you haven’t surfed (or at least experienced a painfully slow conversation with a random surfer guy in Huntington Beach), then are you really living the California life? Gaze at the blanket of bountiful particles to capture the essence of surf culture and winter wonderland all in one. Plus, it’s resourceful. The beach sand supply is endless here in Orange County.

Eraser Shavings from Calculus Midterms
With confidence levels shot and days ruined, those coveted Hi-Polymer erasers are immediately shaven down to half of their original size. To all my calc students: We sincerely forecast your final exam to bring heavy precipitation (in the form of both snow and tears). Every cloud has a silver lining, and in this case, it’s white.

Timby’s Dandruff
We all know that Timby has some cleanliness issues, hence the recent lice outbreak. If you were wondering why our beloved mascot was absent from this season’s home football games and pep rallies, then you should know that he was undergoing some SERIOUS treatment. But now that his dandruff is lice-free, it’s the perfect substitute for snow. Imagine how our school spirit would soar with parts of our beloved Timberwolf’s unfortunate encounter with lice scattered around campus… What an incredible way to build a heart-warming and genuine connection this winter season.

Ashes of the Class of 2020
The Class of 2020 deserves their redemption arc after leaving zero trace of their presence on campus. The prom that they never had could be themed “Winter Wonderland.” Scattering the ashes of their lost dreams across campus is essentially the same thing as letting them walk across the stage: It’s on display for all the teachers and would certainly gain the attention of Northwood students. I couldn’t think of a better way to honor the fallen class.