Students from all over IUSD flock over the rolling hills and majestic Oak to see the fiercest haunted house that will make even the bravest souls start howling for their parents.

Venture throughout the school on the bi-annual dates around December and March to hear the eerie sobs and hysterical cries of Northwood underclassmen. Yes, the sight of anchor grades inputted in the Aeries gradebook is truly a blood-curdling sight and a rite of passage for those who subject themselves to a 2-years long ritual known as Humanities Core.

Upon the theater stage, scratches mysteriously appear across the wooden shell even though everyone swears they haven’t laid a single finger on it. The only conclusion is that invisible poltergeists must be wreaking havoc, further supported by the black box that opens and locks upon its own will.

Among the science buildings is where mad scientists run rampant. You can observe them on their attempts to create poison through acid/base manipulation of milk of magnesium (haha ur M.O.M.) and acetic acid, and their rehearsal of torture techniques by dissecting the anther from the filament of flowers.

And under the stairs by the 1200s, passersby report ghost sightings or perhaps frequent hallucinations, definitely not induced by Macbeth and Hamlet-related flashbacks. These ghosts hiss frightful warnings such as “You better have developed a work ethic in middle school lest you meet your demise here” and hurtful truths such as “Getting a 4.5+ G.P.A. won’t earn you the love of your parents.”

It’s said that the bathrooms are locked at all times in order to keep students from falling into dark rituals situated among the porcelain seats. One can spot traces of these rituals by the strange arrangement of toilet paper strewn on the brown-streaked tiles and the purposeful splatters of yellow from the sacrifice of students’ life-water.

And of course, finally, come to the gym where the stench of teenage BO can strike one unconscious at a single whiff, and sing along to our glorious alma mater.

Northwood High upon the hills
We’re malaised in unity.
Your growling hills, abestic oak
Look toward the creeps due glee.
Our forensics and our murderings
Will mold forever, whew.
The Pack of Northwood wrong and loud White, Silver, Navy Blue!