The Signs as Required English Readings

Annabel Tiong, Junk Editor

Aquarius: “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn”
Pisces: “Beloved”
Aries: “Pride and Prejudice”
Taurus: “The Great Gatsby”
Gemini: “Hamilton”
Cancer: “The House on Mango Street”
Leo: “Macbeth”
Virgo: “The Prince”
Libra: “To Kill a Mockingbird”
Scorpio: “The Stranger”
Sagittarius: “Julius Caesar”
Capricorn: “The Iliad”

Aquarius: Just like Huck’s strong moral compass, you are shamelessly innovative and aren’t afraid to devise crazy schemes to improve the lives of those around you. Forget floating down the Mississippi with a runaway slave: You’re rafting your way out of doing textbook readings with the whole class group chat on your tail.

Pisces: Sensitive, intuitive and empathetic, you represent the turmoil of emotions in Morrison’s Pulitzer Prize winning novel. Often faced with constant cries for attention from schoolwork, academics and trying to maintain a social life while staying sane, you may be a good visualization of the stress of family relationships explored in “Beloved.”

Aries: Your boldness and ambition parallels that of Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth to a tee. Whilst you are casually turning everything from hours of sleep to hours spent on AMSCO notes into a competition, Darcy and Elizabeth are busy trying to one-up who can pretend to not be interested for the longest.

Taurus: You are the embodiment of treat-yourself, and no book says treat yourself like the grand displays of wealth and house parties of the Jazz Age in Gatsby. The only caveat is that your modernized version of luxury involves splurging on a sparkling, caffeinated Ice from the vending machine to reward yourself for showing up to school.

Gemini: Full of curiosity and unapologetically spontaneous, hanging out with you derives the same feeling as following along to a printout of Hamilton’s soundtrack while analyzing it for lit devices; You only have a vague idea of what’s going on historically but King George III’s vocals go so hard that you keep reading anyways.

Cancer: Your emotional intelligence rivals that of Esperanza’s beautiful vignettes, as she tries navigating all the hardships of human interactions and growing up. Just as how “The House on Mango Street” deals with the intricacies of adolescence, your life is quite literally a collection of vignettes as you romanticize passing by that one person in the hallway or studying in a cafe.

Leo: Nothing says drama like Shakespeare’s infamous tragedy featuring witchcraft, prophecies, and murder. Except your life. Your close friend story rants are arguably more passionate than Macbeth’s monologue about tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, but keep that ambition in check or else your downfall might manifest in the form of five tests on the same day.

Virgo: Having issues ruling over a kingdom? According to Machiavelli, the solution is to make everyone scared of you. Having issues with people being unreliable? According to you, the solution is to do it yourself. A big stickler for organization, you tend to bear others’ responsibilities for efficiency. Although, you might want to ignore Machiavelli and start preaching the whole “better to be loved than feared” when speaking with the parking violation staff.

Libra: Equilibrium. Harmony. Justice. You are Scout’s strong sense of morals reincarnated, as you diligently seek to right the wrongs of Northwood. From refusing to share the daily quiz topics at break to going all the way around in the lunch line, all your mini efforts are graciously noticed by your friends at The Howler Staff.

Scorpio: The misunderstandings Meursault faces throughout “The Stranger” might just rival the misunderstandings you face everyday. Your friends tend to describe you as mysterious, as you slink into the oddest corners of the school for tutorials and somehow reappear during lunch.

Sagittarius: You are constantly asking some of the toughest questions on campus. Why is the traffic so bad? Who runs NHS Confessions? When does tutorial end? This blazing quest for knowledge is just like Brutus’ blazing quest to prevent tyranny–although hopefully you don’t murder anyone along the way.

Capricorn: Nothing is more precious to you than time. Similar to how battle after battle is launched between the jumble of Greek names within the Iliad, your schedule is tight and action-packed with activities planned at all times. Of course, no one said they had to be productive.