The new and improved staff box except I’m just roasting everyone on the team (affectionate).

Claire: Has probably formatted more AD pages than written articles during her entire time here. Also that’s the wrong page number

Jonathan: Of course he plays “oboe” and reads “Berserk”

Abby: Who is this again her position wasn’t even in the syllabus

Kathy: Imagine having to periodically accept Facebook user discourse in the comment section of your THO article from a year ago

Tyler: Really appreciate the help on deadline days, I’m sure it added a lot to your UC app

Mihir: The forgotten Junk editor that pitches for every page except News and Junk

Kevin: Funny Shrek moment *Moves the THO previews on front page to make it look like a new layout every month*

Lana: This is the sixth K-drama pitch I’ve heard this year (no one clapped)

Ashley: Just wanted to let you know that the cutouts you repeatedly spent hours dragging anchor points around could’ve been Photoshopped in 2 minutes <3

Yenna: No one knows she took Beginning Journalism

Eugenie: Have fun being the only ASB insider informant next year. At least you’ll be doing more than adding names to the blacklist

Rachel Gima: Is your computer breaking down Rachel did InDesign crash is your file not saving did it get corrupted Rachel is it not uploading Rachel where is your layout

Rahul: Befuddling Buffoonery, more like the real befuddled bu-fool is the page editor who spelled Buffoonery wrong this whole year. I’m sure it was another “intentional” joke on the junk page

Matt: No one knows he took Beginning Journalism

Nicole: Kazutora kinnie with carpal tunnel pick a struggle

Anjana: Uncredited podcast cover drawer, first and last THO graphics editor probably

Aniket: Why isn’t this issue in full color

Ellie Chan: Overused the liquify tool one too many times

Adrian: Why is Rachel Gunawan taking photos

Andrew: Should’ve stuck with piano (JOKE)(THANK YOU FOR SAVING ALL OF STUDENT MEDIA)

Rachel Gunawan: Rachel G, no Rachel the artist, the one with the tablet, yeah with glasses, no that’s Adrian

Richelle: Anti-tree and for what. Where’s your Howler application

Ellie Lan: uploaded an item ffdj(S*EWcsknfinal_final REAL ACTUAL FINAL.psd – 3:28 am

Saba: Hope you’re ready to be the next applied mathematics teacher next year to teach unit conversions to the incoming artists

Chloe: ‘I am going to suffer by making this graphic so needlessly complicated’

Parashar: Parashar please come back we need experienced writers like you that have written more articles than Claire

Arya: ‘I play my quirky games and listen to my quirky music and do my quirky hobbies’

Karen Bruce: Told you we would make you cry (of joy) during your interview

Olivia: Congrats on being the only staff member that’s able to say half your articles are Timby fanfiction

Noelle: Howler token e-girl

Rhea: Year one on the team, already enough editorials to last you the next two

Yejin: LA Times did not pay you to become a divorce lawyer

Rita: I will get a little pet rat and make a kitchen set for it with all your little earrings

Annie: Tmw you are kicked out from writing on your own page

Diego: *is a staff writer* (red flag) (read his article)

Annabel: Went through all the work to bypass Beginning Journalism just to publish furry romance. Was it worth the hours on AO3

Erin: Another extension? Are the freshmen ghosting you again?

Karen Wang: You better be working on that lower vocal range for next year’s de-initiation

Rachel Yokota: Rachel value pack buy 2 get 1 free(lance writer)

Ms. Alburger: is a burger