Dear College Admission Representative Who Deferred My Application,

My winter months were spent in toil and trauma as I fought to scrape together every single AP course just to impress you. My ups and downs, the secrets I was forced to tell in the name of “standing out,” the extracurriculars I was forced to deal with… It took all of my courage, determination and ninety-five dollar checks just to get you to even look at me, and still you left me in wait.

Days, weeks and months passed by, and yet not a word came out of your iron gates. Nothing to appease my rising tension, the knowledge that you could fulfill or end my career before it even started. The answer should have been clear to you; yes or no was all you had to say. And yet after this painstakingly long wait, you still ‘need more time’…

I don’t know what to tell you anymore. You’ve broken my heart, infected me with senioritis. After all that I had to offer, you couldn’t simply give me an answer. Even a ‘no’ would have left me with a sense of resolution, yet now I must spend my days pondering whether I still have a chance to enter your iron gates.

Do you think that this is nothing more than a game? That you can play with my emotions and get away with it? I held myself to the highest standard, believing that you would be the one. I told no lies, omitted no details, but now I wonder if that was the right decision to make. Now I must hide the truth from you, as when I hear from you next, my smile will be nothing but a facade over the agony I’ll be hiding.

I truly hope that there is someone you can accept without the hesitation you had with me. That they can fulfill your every expectation whereas I could not. I truly question my sanity knowing that I’ll still wait for your response, but I must know. What is it that you thought of me? Why did you need all of this time, when all you needed was a second to notice my devotion to you?

You’ve left me no choice; I’m still here waiting for you.

Sincerely yours,
Deferred and Devastated