Downfall of Democracy

Rhea Gupta, Staff Writer

With our current political climate, the downfall of American democracy is seemingly inevitable. For those people that want a sneak peek into what the future holds, here is what you can expect after the American federal government ceases to exist.

Ellie Lan

Democratic Toddler-Ship

Ancient Philosophers have always claimed that humans become corrupt when they join societies. Following this idea, it is only logical to assume that those who have not given into society’s influences (anyone 4 and under) are the only ones not driven by greed. In the best-case scenario, a brave individual between the prime ages of 1 and 4 will step up to the role as an American dictator. If no candidates are brave enough to step up and bear the burden of handling a group of temperamental and annoying individuals (anyone aged 5 and up), we might just have to hand over control to a randomly selected toddler who may or may not use the U.S. military to declare war on vegetables. 

Communist Farm

As middle schoolers we laughed at the idea of George Owell’s “Animal Farm,” but its premise may just become a reality here in America. A recent vision by Tyanhon Ufacii, America’s most highly respected and credible fortune teller, foretold sloths taking over the White House and the situation room being swarmed with donkeys, elephants and pandas. In the Senate, he saw monkeys screeching obscenities over each other. “It’s certainly frightening to see primal animals taking over our government,” Ufacii said. “But I’m glad that the new inhabitants seem as productive as our past leaders.”

 

Amazon’s Aristocracy 

Amazon founder and entrepreneur, Jeffrey Bezos, has taken over the retail industry and is now working to establish dominance in space. While he’s at it, he might as well seize control of the already faulty American governmental system, turning it into an Amazon aristocracy (a world in which everyone shops at Amazon would be a dark world indeed).

Kahoot! (Dictatorship Edition) 

Being America’s next dictator is no easy task but the promise of ultimate power does pique the interest of many. The battle for the position of dictator will be hostile and rigorous over a game of Kahoot created collectively by Northwood’s science teachers. Question topics can range from Kanye West’s rap verses to the cheapest way to instill fear in the public.

Peppa’s Theocracy

Peppa Pig, a valued community member and religious leader of the “Pig Pen,” has  already started making moves to convert America into a theocratic state. With her recent appointment as Secretary of Pigs and Religion, Peppa has already implemented the “Peppa is above all” rule. It’s only a matter of time before she is worshipped as our supreme leader as she seeks world domination.