Spooky Northwood mysteries

Diego Moreno, Staff Writer

Northwood is a school filled with dark mysteries that have only gained notoriety over the years. After a thorough investigation and years of contention, The Howler has determined the ones that may have some truth to them.

History Necromancy.

Though they only come out during new moons, the necromancers—publicly known as the history teachers— spend all of October to raise historical figures so as to craft the most devious of test questions. Some of these include “What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite color?” or “What size shoes does Genghis Khan wear?” These yearly summons always end with the history teachers having to fight the undead Mongol horde before they take over the school and steal all the soap from the boys bathroom again. The Mongols seem to dislike the upstairs ones, so they always make sure to lock them.

Timby The Werewolf.

There have been reports of howling heard in the Northwood area at night, but this one isn’t really much of a mystery. Who could it be other than our very own Timby? Every October, Timby transforms into his true form as a werewolf. His rituals commonly include spending nights howling at the full moon, chasing squirrels and chewing up the sports equipment. Avoid the Oak at night because Timby might just be waiting in the branches for you…

Science Witches.

Have you ever walked into your chemistry class and noticed a weird smell or overheard your teacher pronounce weird incantations such as methylethylamylophenylium? If you have, then it may not come as a surprise that they are in fact a coven of witches led by Mr. Monge. These witches spend their time making potions that have devious side effects like making you forget test questions or laugh at the teachers puns, and they sell these potions to the other monsters of North- wood. Be careful what you say in their classrooms, because you do not want to be cursed. These curses will give you endless bad luck, including making sure you always choose the wrong stair direction between classes.

Mysterious Drama.

In October, the drama department shows are on another level, as if everything they do is real and every emotion their own. This is because they were cursed to temporarily transform into whatever role they play becoming their characters. No one knows how it started, and no one remembers when it happens almost as if their memories are wiped each time maybe due to the curse or something even more sinister. If you see a monster around Northwood it’s just your drama classmates really getting into their roles. A rogue Frankenstein was even reported trying to attack the fabled theater ghost. Though we have to claim these are nothing more than rumors for legal reasons, we all know that there are strange things happening at Northwood. Watch your back.