Guinness World Records

Mihir Kulkarni, Staff Writer

Guinness World Records are usually reserved for some of the most extraordinary people on the planet. Here’s the thing: with our help, you can be extraordinary too. You’ll just be extraordinary at the most extraordinarily obscure things. Here are a few revolutionary records that will make you famous around the world.

1. Most Doritos eaten with a mask on in 30 seconds. 

With masks now required in classrooms, it just got a lot harder to eat in class. To be as discreet as possible while keeping you and your classmates safe, we recommend sliding the Dorito from under the mask near the mouth. Stretch the mask away from your face, and let go to allow the Dorito to zing straight into your mouth. Mastering this will allow you to satisfy your cravings while putting yourself in the record books. 

2. Most basketball shots through the bottom of the rim. 

Let’s be real: you’re probably not going to beat the record for making normal basketball shots. Instead, stand under the basket and shoot it out of the rim. Even better, use tennis balls to get yourself another record.

3. Largest organized tricycle race. 

Why use two wheels when you can have three? Drag that dusty tricycle out from behind all the useless boxes in your garage and let your friends and family know what’s about to go down. Put on your elbow pads and get ready to rumble.

4. Most dino nuggets dipped in lemonade in an hour.

There’s countless food-related records already out there. Why not add another? Grab a large jug of ice cold lemonade, dino nuggets—everyone’s favorite— and dip away! The Howler does not recommend using the T-rex nugget due to its tendency to eat some of the other dinosaurs, decreasing your tally.

5. Most pumpkin pie face slams in a minute. 

This isn’t a food eating record; it’s a food wasting record. Grab a friend, raid the nearest Albertsons, and prepare the pies by drowning each of them in whip cream. Take turns smashing pies into each other’s faces until a winner is declared. Benefit? You’ll have pumpkin spice smell stuck in your nostrils for days. Now there’s some fall spirit!

6. Most goldfish caught in a backyard pool in 1 minute. 

Who goes fishing when you could be goldfishing? Empty a few packets of Goldfish into your pool, and get your fishing rod ready. Once the timer’s up, embrace your inner shark by jumping in and swimming around until you’ve ingested all the remnants of your disassembled, soggy fish.