Streamer xXAm0Ngu.S5ucksXx from Twitching here, and after 404 consecutive hours of playing studio Innersloth’s hit game “Among Us,” I am here to let everyone know that this awful game is a solid 0/10 and will leave you with nothing but an extensive Piscord block list and fewer friends than you started with.

The premise of this multiplayer game is that the players are crewmates on a spaceship and must complete tasks in order to maintain the safety of the ship. Depending on the game host’s settings or the size of the group, there are one or more imposters hidden among the players who are out to kill the other crewmates. When a dead body is reported or an emergency meeting is called, players including the imposters themselves have the ability to discuss and vote to eject a suspected imposter. The crewmates win when everybody has completed their set number of tasks or once all the imposters are ejected, and the imposters win when there is only one (or two, depending on the number of imposters) crewmate left. 

All of that sounds great, right? A fun social deception game that’s easy to learn and quick to play? Then how come I am mercilessly slaughtered in the FIRST TWENTY SECONDS of the game, only for the imposter to self-report my dead body? How dare you. This is not a player versus player fighting game like “Super Smashing Sisters.” At least let me play the game.

An aspect of this game I had not previously mentioned is that dead crewmates can float around the ship as ghosts and continue to complete tasks to support their team. I say that if I can still complete tasks while I’m DEAD, I should also be able to kill the imposter too, now that I know who it is. Where is the justice?

On too many occasions, I got ejected from the ship just because I was ALONE in a room when a body was reported. It only took one person to say “orange sus” for everyone to vote to eject me. Does anybody know how to play this game? I can even type “I was at medbay” with my eyes closed now.

And several other times I witnessed a MURDER, the KILLING OF A MAN with my very own two eyes but somehow lost the race against the imposter to the emergency meeting button, who framed ME for the murder of the crewmate. How is this allowed? Why should the imposter be allowed to call meetings? THE IMPOSTER SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO LIE.

To conclude, this game should not exist. It is an utter shame that such a concept was fathomed. I have developed serious trust issues upon playing “Among Us” and have an unspeakable fear of being betrayed by those around me. Not a day has passed without me waking up in a cold sweat after dreaming that I am an astronaut that had just been ejected into the space-void by his trusted crewmates, fated to wander the depths of the universe for eternity. Innersloth should revamp it as a single-player game. If you’re a real gamer, go play some Dragonvale instead.