DIY masks: an exclusive guide for trendsetters

Mihir Kulkarni, Staff Writer

With everyone wearing a mask these days, making an impression can be difficult. Even the most exciting masks might have a polka dot or two. To spice up your collection, here are some mask ideas to make you the talk of the town. Important disclaimer: The Howler is not responsible for any adverse physical or financial consequences that arise from wearing these superior face coverings.

1. Your smile is just too perfect for people not to see. Use a saran wrap mask to show off your superior teeth to anyone who passes by. Walk into any store or building you like and laugh at others who haven’t thought of such a great idea. Don’t worry if you start to feel a bit dizzy, because that means the mask is working. Fainting is also perfectly normal. If it gets especially tight, just cut a few holes in the mask.

2. Put all the extra toilet paper that you stocked up on back in March to good use by creating a toilet paper ninja mask. Simply wrap it around your face as many times as you would like while leaving just enough space for your eyes to see, and your mask is complete! Creep stealthily around your neighborhood and scare unsuspecting joggers to become the ninja warrior you were always meant to be. Scare people even more by acting like a mummy.

3. If you want to really make an impression, you’ll have to do some online shopping. Buy an astronaut Halloween costume on Amazon and squeeze that helmet onto your head. Not only does it thwart any virus, it also functions as a superior bike helmet. Additionally, nobody’s going trick-or-treating these days, so you’ll turn heads wherever you go. There’s a chance you might get some odd glances, but just say, “I know, it’s out of this world.”

4. A life-sized hamster ball has been recommended by both doctors and epidemiologists worldwide.

You’ll crush any virus or living being in your path, if you can just figure out how to get out the front door. Fashion designers also give it rave reviews, gushing over how “it just rolls with any outfit.” Howler Pro Tip: Roll your way in between a group of teen- agers who are not socially distancing to make sure they stay six feet apart!