As the cold holiday weather creeps in, the mascots of IUSD should be bonding in a warm fire of friendship and unity. Instead, IUSD’s recent Secret Santa gift exchange brought more mixed signals and mascot-sized misunderstandings than anyone could have predicted.
Gift mishaps:
“The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” began when the robot mascot of Eastwood Elementary, Clint, gifted Irvine High’s Vaquero an antique pocket watch with a note reading, “Your time is over.” The ticking reminder of an automated future didn’t sit well with the Vaquero, who vowed to “Hang ‘Em High.” He unplugged Clint’s charging cord, causing Clint to oversleep, putting him “In The Line of Fire” of his teacher’s wrath. Clint has yet to take the Vaquero’s job. Clint Eastwood, the robot’s namesake, played a variety of famous film cowboys, so the transgression will likely remain “Unforgiven.”
Bird beef:
Things seemed fine between Brywood Elementary’s Blue Jay and Stonegate’s Hawk when Blue Jay gifted the Hawk a golden ring—until Alderwood Elementary’s Owl, unwrapped an onion ring when he also expected a golden ring. Offended, the Owl gifted the Blue Jay a bell that rang in their ear at 3 a.m. Let’s just say the Blue Jay saw STARS that night.
Rivalries:
University High School’s Trojan regifted a classic: their decoy horse. Woodbridge High School’s Warrior immediately saw through the tactic and refused the offering, sparking a feud between the two mascots. The situation took a chaotic turn when Sierra Vista’s Charger quickly sided with the Warrior.
A separate and less dire competition between Northwood’s Timby the Timberwolf and Portola’s Buster the Bulldog arose over who was the better canine. Buster’s friendly gift of Scooby Snacks was ruined when Timby discovered they were crushed. Timby retaliated with a deluxe “Canine Spa Kit,” which included shampoo labeled “For Brighter, Shinier Fur.” Buster, thinking he was getting a nice bath, soon discovered the shampoo was actually pink hair dye. He emerged looking less bulldog and more cotton candy.
Not-so-divine intervention:
IUSD secret gift coordinator Elphon Ashelf attempted to calm the chaos by calling all the mascots to a dinner. But things got worse when Buster, upset at his new pink look, snuck pink dye into the soap, turning everyone’s hands pink. Caught pink-handed, Buster (and eventually all the others) solved the conflicts between them through the “we listen and don’t judge” trend, where all the mascots addressed their concerns and definitely did not judge. After the holiday havoc, they all finally learned the spirit of Christmas, celebrating with red and green… and a little pink
