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What is the truth behind the new security cameras?

As a Northwood student, you’ve probably noticed a sudden increase in security cameras around the school. It’s obvious that the administration is watching us. But is that all there is to it? What is the real purpose behind them? The Truth is out there, hidden in the lush, concrete forests of the Northwood campus.

There’s more to the cameras than meets the eye. But of course, although we call them “cameras,” miniature shape-shifting wormholes would be a more accurate title for the malignant security devices.

I mean, there are currently 13 spread throughout the school. Coincidence? I think not. There’s something ominous coming. Just look at the strange weather that heralded the beginning of the month. Water? Falling from the sky? It must be a sign.

For example, you’ve probably also noticed that, ever since second semester started, several seniors have been gradually vanishing from existence. Some may try to pass it off as “second semester senioritis.” But we say, “Balderdash!” What could be behind these mysterious happenings, other than our resident security cameras? Not to mention, the other night, we witnessed a camera sucking seniors up into a portal, swirling with indifference and littered with letters from various colleges, right before our eyes.

In our every step to gather information, we have been continually blocked by either the school’s administration or the dark nature of these “security cameras.” However, we have been able to gather some data that we feel should be spread to the whole Northwood public. Here’s what we know:

  1. These cameras have succeeded in continually reproducing asexually through mitosis.
  2. On the monthly night of the full moon, the security cameras shapeshift into were-T-wolves and gather around the Oak to graze on the artificial turf.
  3. Sometimes, in the dead of night, the cameras were seen trying to sneakily break into the nearby avocado orchards and hide all the avocados, so California will slowly run out and fall into chaos
  4. Celestial blob-people were seen communicating with the cameras after descending from outer space. Undoubtedly, the cameras are their brethren who were sent as scouts to observe the land.
  5. The cameras can occasionally be seen going down the back elevator and disappearing into the night. We suspect there may be an underground meeting place they exchange Northwood’s information with Irvine High spies.
  6. During spare time over weekends, many super smart and extremely intellectual students can be seen getting their brain juices replenished from the cameras, which allows them to get those perfect marks on tests

So be careful Northwood. Keep your eyes peeled and report any mysterious camera/were-T-wolf/celestial blob activity you see.