Weekend fun things

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Instead of actually going outside this weekend and doing fun things like a loser, here is a list of five totally cool things you can do this weekend.

  1. Refresh Parent Portal

Make sure you’re connected to the interwebs. Type “parent portal IUSD” into the Google. This is when the real fun begins. Pick the most borderline grade in the gradebook and rapidly spam the refresh button. Now all there is to do is sit back, relax and watch your grade plunge to a point of no return.

  1. Binge watch “Khan Academy Videos”

This activity is not only educational, it also makes time fly. Simply go to the Khan Academy website, click on any subject you wish to learn more about and listen to the soothing voice of Salman Khan as you learn about the basics of Quantum Mechanics.

  1. Study for the ACT

Now this activity will not only be fun for you, but it will please your over-competitive perfectionist parents as well. Sign up for any overpriced bootcamp hosted by a prep academy and enjoy superb educational content and free arctic blasts that won’t turn off no matter how cold the room is. Is the ACT not good enough for you? Don’t worry; in addition, you can take the SAT prep for more fun!

  1. Work on college applications

Not only will this activity make your parents happy, it will also make sure you are going to be super successful in the future. A good application essay can turn your life around unless you already ruined your chances of getting into an Ivy League by getting below a 6.0 grade point average.

  1. Procrastinate till the last minute

To make enough time to do all the fun activities I have listed above, you must put all homework due on Monday off until 3 a.m. on Sunday night (or Monday morning). This can be efficiently done by not logging onto Canvas, throwing your backpack in the dark abyss of your closet and not letting it see the light of day until next year.