The Good, the Bad and the Ugly – Finals Edition
I really want to stick to my New Year’s Resolutions this year. How do you guys suggest I achieve this?
good: First, make sure your resolutions are realistic and quantifiable so that you will be able to measure your progress. Break the process into smaller increments of change daily so that you’re working towards your goal each day while avoiding feeling overwhelmed. Treat yourself to small rewards along the way as you progress. Most importantly, do not derail the entire train just because you had one mess-up. Think of it as a learning process of what to avoid in the future and just keep looking forward.
bad: The key to this is delusion. Since you obviously won’t actually achieve any resolutions because you’re just too lazy, the only thing you can do is to try to delude yourself. Trying to eat healthy? Just stick a carrot in your double-chocolate fudge cake and give yourself a pat on the back for eating a vegetable. This way you can guiltlessly brag to your friends–who are most likely also failing their resolutions–about how you’ve been incredibly on track this year. Then by the time February rolls in, you’ll be crying in the pit called reality once you realize how you absolutely bombed your resolution this year. But hey, at least you were happy for that one month.
ugly: New Year’s Resolutions are like Mount Everest. A lot of people die trying.
Finals season is coming up soon. How can I pass finals?
good: I know the last thing you want to do is study even more and work even harder, but your in the home stretch of the race. Runners don’t slow down when they can see the finish line; on the contrary, they run faster. Know that your efforts will be rewarded and you can walk out of your classes feeling proud that you knew everything on the final. Eat a healthy breakfast each day and sleep as early as possible. You’ll actually do more for yourself by getting a satisfying night’s sleep than pulling an all-nighter reviewing material you already know. And remember, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel: 2 days of semester break!
bad: Hahahaha. Funny. That’s a good joke. Finals season is like the flu season in a tightly packed school, except worse. You can’t escape it. Once you have finals, there’s no going back. The symptoms start kicking in. Headaches, sleep deprivation, the woozy feeling of reality slamming you in the face on how you literally wasted away 4 months not studying. But just like during the flu season, you won’t be the only one feeling awful and zombie-like. Everyone around you will be feeling the exact same way, spreading the sickness like it’s candy on Halloween. The finals virus will be floating in the air, infecting everyone. You can’t escape it. The only thing we can all do is to try not to die. At this point, you won’t even be able to think about passing. Just try to survive. And just consider this: If 36,000 people die from the flu in the US every year, how many fall from finals?
ugly: School is like Mount Everest: you train for a year, you invest money in tutors and sherpas, and you prepare food and supplies. And you still fail.
The end of the semester is coming up. Can I still raise my grade? How?:
good: Don’t lose hope in yourself! Ask your teachers about extra credit opportunities, form study groups for finals, talk to your counselor and sleep well before your tests. If you put in the work, that borderline B+ might just turn into an A.
bad: It’s time to face the facts: It’s basically impossible at this time. You’re on a sinking ship that’s been sinking for 4 months and now you’re trying to fix the many holes with a single stick of gum. It’s not happening.
ugly: The end of the semester is like Mount Everest. It looks really daunting at first, but you need to at least try. Maybe then, you’ll realize that it’s even worse than you can possibly imagine.