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Seniors look for four-leaf clovers

With college decision season just around the corner, more and more seniors have been found hunting for those lucky four-leaf clovers around Northwood’s campus in order to boost their admission chances.

“For me, I have always looked for these lucky charms before anything important comes up,” senior Bob Joe said. “If I found one, I always got a perfect score on the exam I took or got acceptance into whatever groups I wanted acceptance into. I’m sure it will be the same for college as well.”

Unfortunately, for these oblivious seniors like Joe, Northwood had recently changed its luxurious clover-littered grass to fake, lifeless astroturf. No matter how hard they look, the probability of finding the double dumbell, d-orbital shaped plant is exactly 3.1415 trillionth of a percent. At this point, it is more likely for the legal seniors to win the lottery. Joe expressed his unbounded panic in finding out about this situation.

“Without that clover, I have no chances of getting admitted to any college,” Joe said. “I should probably start collecting cardboard boxes and newspaper to make myself a place to live once I go homeless.”

However, other seniors, like Joe Bob, have not given up hope yet. In a final struggle to find clovers at Northwood, they have planted Lucky Charms Cereal into the turf, hoping that it will grow into a four-leaf clover. Everyday, these seniors dress up in leprechaun costumes and dance around the turf in a desperate attempt to get the plants to grow. As of now, their attempts have been futile.

“College is very important to me,” Bob said. “If four-leaf clovers will get me into to college, I will do everything in my power to get them.”