Northwood students use googly eyes to look awake in class
A new school-wide phenomenon has swept across Northwood: students have begun gluing googly eyes to their faces to sleep in class undetected.
It was pioneered by junior Michelle Kim, who took some googly eyes and pasted them over her closed eyes to look awake while secretly getting some much-needed rest. After discovering that none of her teachers noticed, she began selling her googly eyes to her fellow students. A survey conducted by The Howler found that 2 percent of freshmen, 30 percent of sophomores, 98 percent of juniors and 52 percent of seniors now use this method on a regular basis.
“This is literally the absolute best thing that has happened to me and to Northwood as a whole,” sophomore Caitlyn Chen said. “All my classmates and friends are so much happier and energetic now that they actually get at least 5 hours of sleep. Now, I can’t imagine my life without being able to sleep in class with ease.”
According to the survey, a majority of Northwood students use this method to waste less time sleeping at home and instead participate in nighttime extracurriculars such as Honors Asian Literature (HAL), AP Astrology and “How I Met Your Mother.”
However, despite its widespread popularity on campus, Northwood teachers have yet to catch any students in the act.
“My sophomores and juniors are the perkiest, brightest and most cheerful kids you’ll ever meet,” Northwood English teacher Alexandria Wallen said. “I mean, sure, sometimes the students don’t respond when I talk to them, and it’s weird that they never chat with each other or even so much as blink during class, but that just shows their intense thought process and determination to learn. I’m so proud of them!”
Over 70 percent of the Northwood student body currently owns at least one pair of reusable googly eyes, according to The Howler’s survey. Kim’s customizable googly eyes, now trademarked as NooglesTM, are currently available in multiple shapes, colors and sizes at the SAC for $25 each with an ASB card, and $35 without.
“I don’t understand the point of this at all. Why are people trying so hard to sleep in class when they’ll just have to catch up later?” senior Brian Fu said. “And if people really want googly eyes, can’t they just get them at Michael’s? I’m really confused, but whatever. I’m a second-semester senior, so I can’t care anymore.”
Following the tremendous success of the NooglesTM, Kim plans to develop digital googly eye devices that exhibit realistic movements and express emotions such as shock or surprise in response to class lectures.
“I’m just so happy that I could have helped my fellow Northwood peers.” Kim said. “That’s what really brings me joy. I mean, I’m also making bank from this, and I plan on putting this on my college application, but my main goal is, of course, to help my community.”