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How to study for the winter finals

You leaf through the pages of your AP U.S. History textbook, trying to cram in all that you can before the final. You recognize Alexander Hamilton’s name from the musical, yet have no clue what his position on the federal government was. Panic consumes your already-packed mind as you scramble to recall all the information you remember studying last night, but it’s too late. The scantron is in front of your eyes, and 10 minutes have already passed.

Maybe you’ve been in this position before, or know someone who has. But, no fear (Shakespeare)! Use this finals survival guide to ensure your safety as the holiday (cramming) season comes around!

  1. Get a boba hip flask: What Northwood survival guide would be complete without the elixir of the gods: boba! This nifty device can be worn on your person for even the most dire of situations, always there to provide a quick sip of that sweet, relaxing nectar.
  2. Remember that you aren’t a junior: Those sad, sad juniors have so much on their plate that it’s almost funny to watch (unless you are one).
  3. Combine your studies: There’s probably nothing wrong with learning the Pythagorean theorem in French as you memorize Chinese dynasties and listen to Winter Gala pieces… right?
  4. Wear glasses: As legendary cornerback Deion “Primetime” Sanders once said, “If you look good, you feel good. If you feel good, you play good.” This applies to eyeglasses and academic performance, for numerous extensive studies have concluded that appearing smart actually improves test scores.
  5. Watch Bob Ross videos: Remember there are no mistakes, just happy accidents as you assume the optimist’s perspective on finals week; it is only a week, right? And who doesn’t love the soft, soothing voice of Bob Ross?
  6. Give up: No test? No problem!