Cheers to a new year! It’s finally time to put the past to rest and look towards the new year with hope and maybe even a refreshing change, but something bound to not change are your helpful friends at The Howler! Figuring out how to accomplish your New Year’s Resolutions may be hard, but luckily the Good, Bad and Ugly are here to lend a helping hand.
Dear Howler, the new year means it’s time for a new semester, and this semester I’m trying to shoot for straight A’s. Any advice on how to accomplish my goals?
The Good: Personally, I believe the main obstacle stopping people from shooting for straight A’s is not intelligence. It’s how you manage your time. The quality of what you turn in is so much better when you do an assignment over a period of time rather than scribbling something down during tutorial. Pace yourself and work on your assignments as soon as you can instead of waiting until the last minute. Not only will you turn in better work, but you’ll also be less stressed.
The Bad: When you come home after school, you should definitely watch Netflix for three hours or scroll through your phone pretending like you have a social life when we all know you don’t.
The Ugly: Just give up. The entire system is rigged to make you believe that you can get straight A’s, but that’s about as likely as you getting into all seven Ivy League colleges.
Dear Howler, this year, I’m looking to expand my horizons. I’ve tried my hand at the dating scene, but I just can’t seem to get a boyfriend. Do you have any advice?
The Good: Dating is such a difficult topic to give advice on because everyone is different and reacts differently. It makes life interesting, but at the same time it may be frustrating if you can’t seem to find that “Special One.” So don’t worry, and relax! It may take some time, but eventually you’ll find that one person that you’ll click with. Both of you will find each other naturally, and when you do, it’ll be pretty clear.
The Bad: You want real advice? Lower your standards and then maybe you’ll become a decent enough person to attract one.
The Ugly: Who has time for relationships or even friends in general when you have tests to study for? How else are you going to get that medical degree, pass the bar and get rich enough to buy all the friends you want?
Dear Howler, I know that we always send questions to you asking for help, but we never ask anything about you guys! Do you have any resolutions of your own?
The Good: Oh, well there were a couple of things I’ve been meaning to start doing again. I tried learning piano over the summer since knowing music theory will make me a better musician, so maybe I can try again. I also wanted to create a more consistent work schedule for school because it seems like I’m barely keeping up with all my classes every single day. I really should listen to my own advice!
The Bad: I was planning on going on a diet, but that ended as soon as I decided to eat a pack of Hot Cheetos. Truth be told, New Year’s resolutions never work, so I wouldn’t even bother making them in the first place. Anyone who says they’re still keeping their resolution this late into the year is either lying or is terrible at self-reflection.
The Ugly: Resolutions are an illusion created by John D. Rockefeller to boost the capitalistic morale of this country and I refuse to partake in them.
Dear Howler, last year was pretty rough for me and I feel like I’ve hurt a lot of people. How do I apologize to those I’ve hurt in the past?
The Good: It’s great that you want to apologize to people. I know how hard that can be sometimes and it takes a lot to accept your mistakes and realize you were wrong. I think there are many ways to send an apology, but the most effective way is talking to them face-to-face. Instead of hiding behind a screen or a letter, having them see the sincerity in your face and voice will help them realize you are truly sorry for what you have done.
The Bad: Leave the past in the past, and let it be.
The Ugly: Don’t. You made a mistake and now you’re forever destined to awkwardly wave at them in the hallways and pray you don’t have a class with them.