Dear Sanjana: (b)advice for back-to-school
Hello, fellow students! School is back in session, and while the rest of us trained experts may be ready for the new year, I understand that there are a few of you newbies out there who are not quite sure how to navigate the halls of high school. Fortunately for you guys, being a seasoned senior myself, I have plenty of advice to offer you that is so good, I wish someone had given it to me before I waded into the murky depths of freshman year. Follow these tips, and you just might survive your first week at Northwood. Maybe.
- Make an impression. If you haven’t noticed already, there are a lot of kids in this school (I’m assuming if you haven’t already, you’re visually impaired, and for that, I apologize). For this reason, it is crucial you make yourself distinguishable early on, so try to establish a reputation. For instance, show up to every one of your classes late. Being the last person in will leave you the freshest in your teachers’ minds, and this memorability will really help you later on for recommendations.
- Have determination. In high school, you will face plenty of obstacles you will have to push through. By obstacles, I mean the swarm of kids during breaks that are reminiscent of ravenous piranhas. Instead of politely excusing yourself and gingerly making your way around, push through the tight crowds as hard as you can, even if they push you back. Some may call it, “counterproductive,” but I call it, “asserting your dominance.”
- Be resourceful. Northwood values students who are creative and resourceful. Therefore, you should never ask your teachers questions when a topic confuses you, because that only displays weakness, and we’ve already discussed asserting your dominance. Luckily, there are plenty of sources that you can rely on for help. I find Wikipedia to be especially informative and trustworthy. For example, did you know that “the Moon” is actually just an elaborate hologram being projected by the People’s Republic of China? Amazing.